Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
