Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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