think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I cannot find my penis.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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