the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
