Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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