Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
