Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
