I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Randomize
