Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Green mimosas i think yes
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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