I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
