Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
