He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Randomize