Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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