OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
