It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize