mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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