According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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