Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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