Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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