You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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