have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
