He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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