she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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