You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
