turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
