I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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