The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
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