For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
