I just threw up on my dentist
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
