they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Terrible idea I love it
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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