yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
