i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize