there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
