Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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