I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize