New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
