i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
