He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
