do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
