What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
