I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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