That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
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