So drunk its hurt
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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