I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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