i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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