Kareoke will never be a sober sport
are you so shy because you have an std?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
