Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Randomize
