well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Randomize