its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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