Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
did you just send me my own nude
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
