If i come over, it means nothing
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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