then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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