Buhtt sex?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I looked at my own cervix.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
