Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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