Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
