just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
