i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize