I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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