My friends, they love my intelligence
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
