people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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