I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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