Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
